Miss Tegen

In the wake of Mother's Day and the abundance of love and messages I received as a mother, I wanted to dedicate this post to the story of an amazing "non-mom."  I met Tegen in August of 2000 -  my first day of college at the University of Wisconsin Madison.  My roommate, Tricia, and I were finished unpacking and celebrating with a smoke in the quad.  My first priority for that weekend was to find friends and parties.  I spotted two other girls that looked nice and were also smoking and we marched up, introduced ourselves and the rest is history. 

Tegen has also been one of my closest friends.  When I moved to South Carolina, we remained close despite the distance.  Her and her husband Mark were our first visitors after my move.  They slept on the floor of our dining room in the one bedroom apartment we were currently staying in.  Tegen visited regularly and has been a part of Sam's life since before he was born.  I was pregnant with Sam at Tegen's wedding.  Since I had purchased the bridesmaids dress prior to knowing about Sam, it did not fit when the wedding came around.  Tegen didn't care.  "Wear whatever you want," she said.  That is Tegen.  Down to earth, says what she means, always up for fun, caring and present for everything. 

Tegen is more of a mother than many mothers I know.  She puts other people first, always.  She spends most of her time with her family and close friends, helping them through whatever problems they face.  If you have money problems, Tegen will help in any way she can.  If you have relationship problems, she will really listen and do all she can to help.  If you have a child sick with cancer, she will take weeks out of her life to hold your hand in a hospital room, feed and bathe your tiny newborns, make you lunch while you pump breast milk for the 10th time that day, attempt to play with your son who is too sick to engage with anyone, bring over diapers and wipes and formula and cook dinner for your whole family. 

 She will spend the night and get up with your babies so you can get extra sleep and travel to New York to be part of a special trip you have planned for your sick son.  She will drink wine with you and carry you out of a new year's eve wedding when you are overcome with sadness for your situation.  She will set up a schedule and coordinate with your family to make sure that you always have help when she can't be there.  She will take thousands of pictures and videos of your family when you are too busy and make sure she saves them to your hard drive.  She will text your mom to check in with her.  She will massage your shoulders when your tense and hold your hand when there is nothing to say.

I could never thank Tegen for all she had done and been for me.  I love her unconditionally and I don't think it was an accident that we approached her in the quad nearly 15 years ago.