The Moscowitz Family

We started having dinner at the Moscowitz house almost immediately after I moved to Charleston in the summer of 2009.  At least once a week our families would gather, usually at the Moscowitz house, for delicious food, wine and beer and chaotic, shifting half-conversations that are only truly known by those with kids.  When Sam was young enough to sleep anywhere we would stay long after Amelia and Eli went to bed and drink, play games or just converse.  

I loved these dinners.  It was through these dinners that I really got to know the family.  David and Leigh are extremely intelligent, interesting, engaging, kind people.  We'd talk politics, movies, academia, child-rearing, dog-rearing, food, communal living; we'd gossip, empathize, plan, laugh, even dance.  Leigh was my rock through both pregnancies always marveling at how big I or the kids were getting.  Over time, Leigh became so much more than a friend and their family became ours.


Amelia and Eli have always been a big part of Sam's life.  They include Sam in their games and laugh at his jokes and his tiny voice.  They marvel at how much he loves American flags, vacuums and Curious George.  They know Sam.

I was hospitalized for pre-eclampsia with the twins in July of 2013.  Leigh brought her family over to our house to care for Sam and Echo (our dog).  They cooked dinner and built the now famous fort out of a crib box and watched TV.  It was such an intense relief to have a family Sam knew and trusted caring for him so Mike could be with me in the hospital.  I woke up the second morning in the hospital and ordered breakfast.  Before I could eat it they started monitoring the twins which meant I could not eat or drink.  Mae was not as active as the doctors wanted her to be, so they kept monitoring hoping her activity level would come up.   They monitored me all day, we signed surgery paperwork and prepared birth certificates for the twins.  I was 35 weeks pregnant and terrified to deliver that early.  I begged the doctors to let me eat.  They finally agreed that evening.  Once I ate Mae's stats came up and they were satisfied enough not to deliver me.  I was so relieved, but the relief was short-lived.

The next day, we were told Sam had a large mass in his brainstem.  He was admitted to the hospital.  Leigh was with me that night.  I knew it was bad, but she talked me down and I got some sleep.  The morning after, I woke up early and had a nurse wheel me to Sam's floor for the diagnosis.  "Inoperable, incurable brain tumor, average life span of 9-12 months, we will make him comfortable."

I went back to my room.  Leigh texted, "I am here if you need me."  She didn't mean hypothetically, she was literally in the hospital waiting for me to respond.  She waited hours and was still there when I bothered to text back.  

And the Moscowitz's were there every single day.  Leigh arranged for a masseuse to come to my room and give me a massage.  David and Leigh picked up dinner for whoever was visiting which often included several of our family members and friends. Amelia and Eli climbed into Sam's hospital bed and played with him for hours.  Their energy kept him happy despite the fact that he was on steroids powerful enough to make adults psychotic, being put under every morning, undergoing radiation and taking several medications include an oral chemotherapy.  He smiled when he saw them and requested their presence.  I sat in Sam's hospital room in a wheelchair marveling at these two children and the parents who raised them.  

When Sam and I went home from the hospital, Leigh often drove me to visit the girls and would sit and hold and feed them with me.  It was our new version of happy hour.  


Mike and I decided to go to Minnesota for an extended period of time and quickly realized the logistics of getting all five of us and our stuff there was...complicated.  We devised a plan.  If Leigh and Amelia would fly with me, the twins and Sam, then Mike could drive the mini-van solo and pick us up at the airport.  The flight was comical.  The twins were four months old and we had a mountain of luggage. Amelia did her best to entertain Sam who still had not completely recovered from treatment while Leigh and I juggled making bottles, changing diapers, and listening to strangers advise.  The first leg of our flight was delayed-we had just minutes to cross the airport to catch our second flight.  We all did our best to run to the gate, Leigh and I with babies strapped to us and towing luggage.  People in the airport just stared.  We were a sideshow and the flight was one of the most stressful things I have endured.  On our second flight, Leigh ordered a beer.  I loved her so much in that moment for reading my mind.

The Moscowitz family is coming to visit us in Minneapolis this week.  We haven't felt whole without them.